“Let go and let God.” Such a cliche saying that we hear all the time, but how does it actually play out? Since there is also the infamous, “Work as if it all depends on you and pray as if it all depends on God.” So, when do we “work” and when do we “let go?” This summer was one such lesson for me. Upon returning from two years on mission in New Zealand, my question of course was where to go now? As you will read from my last post, my initial intention was to walk the Camino in September (2010)…however as I watched the remainder of my missionary “income” deplete as the summer rolled on, I quickly realized that this was most certainly not where the Lord was immediately calling me. So I began to pray, but not enough, and search for jobs and places to move to, a bit too much. Suddenly just before I was about to move to Boston, MA (with no job yet mind you), I realized that I was trying to force something to happen. That somewhere along the line, what started out as walking through the doors God opened, turned into throwing open doors myself in hopes of finding the right one.
So, I stopped everything…and started praying more fiercely than ever that I would remember the childlike faith and trust I once had in the Lord (trusting him even to send me half way around the world to New Zealand). Surely, I knew that he could handle a simple task like getting me a job, if that was indeed his will. I had two years of his faithfulness in New Zealand to prove it after all. (Not that God ever needed to prove himself…but, he had and still I doubted!) No more I decided. From the moment of my realization that I was (subconsciously) not trusting God to care for me, it was not 12 hours later that I was contacted by a woman who wanted me to nanny for her two children (ages 1 and 4 1/2) in Washington, DC. As every other door flew closed, I could see that God was leading me to the one and only open door. So, I walked through.
I am now a full time nanny (though not living with the family) in Washington, DC. It was a hard adjustment at first, going from serving the Lord in such a distinctly ministerial way to serving him in the simple every day tasks of life and in caring for two little children, but I see the Lord’s hand at work and that is all that matters. To remember that we are nothing and that God is everything has been my first assignment upon returning to the USA from NZ. It reminds me that my one simple task is to be obedient to the loving God who created me and knows me better than I know my self. Only in this will I find happiness. My time in DC is a gift God has given me to digest the wonder of my two years in NZ, to prepare for what is next, and a whole countless list of other lessons and reasons which have yet to unfold and perhaps will not be revealed to me until Heaven.
So, to answer the question: “When do we ‘work’ and when is it time to ‘let go?’ I don’t have the all encompassing God-approved answer. All I know is that we must strive to pursue every opportunity, seek the desires of our heart, and in the midst of all this striving and seeking…stay anchored in prayer which is our means of hearing the Lord tell us whether or not the things we are seeking are our ultimate good. And if they are not, we must be detached enough to let them go.
May we strive to do all things AMDG (Ad Madjorum Dei Glorium…All for the Glory of God).
PS. I do hope to walk the Camino sometime this year should it be God’s will! But whether I walk it or not, I rest in Him wherever He sends me.